If you haven’t seen HBO’s new hit series Insecure, you are totally missing out! The show explores the black female experience, but as I binged watched the series I realized it’s a show millennials of any race can enjoy and probably relate to. I don’t want to reveal too many spoilers for those of you that haven’t seen it and are planning to watch, but there are a few lessons to be learned from this first season of Insecure.
3 Lessons Millennials Can Learn from HBO’s Insecure
The show was created by Youtube sensation Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore. It depicts the lives of two best friends, Issa and Molly, trying to navigate the world and deal with the curve balls of life. Issa works at a non-profit, where she’s the only black woman and Molly is an attorney at a well known firm where she too is the only black woman. Issa has been in a relationship with Lawrence for a few years, but we meet them at a place where he is down on his luck job wise and as grown complacent in many aspects of life. Molly on the other hand can’t seem to keep man. She meets her suitors via dating apps and is always left wondering why it doesn’t work.
Lesson 1: The Token (insert minority race here)
As I mentioned before, Issa and Molly are the token black women at their respective places of employment. For those unfamiliar with the “token” phrase, it refers to the phenomenon in which there is only one of something/someone in an environment. In this case, they are the only black people at their jobs. Despite the statistic that black women have become the most educated group in the US, it remains a mystery why there are so few of us working at the same place. In Insecure we see the co-workers of Issa and Molly turning to them for any questions related to the black community. As a black woman that often finds myself as the token black girl, I can understand why someone of another race may seek me out to answer their questions about blackness. However, I can’t speak for all black people. There are many things stereotypically associated with being black that I wouldn’t know any more about than the a while girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. Because I know how annoying it is to be force to be the voice of my race, I strive not to do it to other minorities. In my opinion, a better way to to approach this would be to ask the question of the entire group and let anyone who feels they have a contribution to do so. If by being a black woman, I can speak on the situation, trust that I will do so, but don’t just assume I (or any other member of a minority group) know how everyone else in the group feels.
Lesson 2: Honesty
Let’s jump right in on this one, Issa cheats Lawrence. You’ll have to watch the show to see with who and all the events leading up to it, but the fact remains that she might have ruined their relationship for good by stepping out on her man. When Lawrence finds out he’s understandably upset and makes some decisions that leave Issa literally on a couch on the curb in tears. I believe Issa cheated on Lawrence because she was unhappy in their relationship and something seemingly better presented itself. If she had been honest with Lawrence and communicated why she was unhappy with him, maybe things wouldn’t have ended the way they did. If you’re in a relationship, you know that it’s not always sunshine and lollipops. Couples fight and some situations may leave you wondering if this is really a relationship you want to be in…I believe that’s normal. To avoid hurt feelings and possibly ruining your relationship over a temporary situation, you should be honest with yourself and your partner. Tell your man how you’re feeling and what your needs are so you don’t end up in a puddle of tears on the curb like Issa.
Lesson 3: Love
Our lesson in love from Insecure comes from Molly. Molly is a serial dater yearning for monogamy. Molly seems to have created an ideal man in her head, approaches every relationship like this is “the one”, and then is left alone when he deviates from being her dream man. She is quick to blame her failed relationships on her suitors’ inadequacies and totally misses that the common denominator is her. In one episode, Molly runs into an old girlfriend who reveals she’s been working on her self with the help of a therapist. Molly laughs at the idea and gets really upset with Issa when she suggests that Molly should maybe see a therapist too. Molly is so desperate to have a man love her that she doesn’t realize she’s missing love from the most important place of all, herself. How can you be 1/2 of a HEALTHY and functioning relationship if you don’t love yourself? Not loving yourself causes you to seek it all from your partner and undoubtedly you will feel that their love is never enough. Let Molly’s failure be a lesson in love for you. If you’re relationships with men are anything like her’s maybe you need to stop and make a self assessment.
Did you watch Insecure? What lessons did you learn from the show? Which one of these lessons is most valuable in your life right now?
It’s time for another Thursday Three Link Up. Who doesn’t love sharing lists on their blogs?? I co-host this link up with two other awesome bloggers. Whether it’s 3 reasons you love your husband, 3 things you hate about graduate school, or 3 awesome birthday gift ideas, the Thursday Three Link Up is a place where you can share your posts and interact with other bloggers. Create an amazing post listing three things of your choosing and link up on Royalty in Reality or LiveLifeWell each and every Thursday!
image source: IMBd