The past few weeks Elaina Watley, beautiful fiancee of football star Victor Cruz, has been in the media for sending a group text to several other women believed to have sexual relationships with the football star. Watley’s message is here:
There have been mixed reviews from both men and women dying to chime in their two cents. Some have ripped Watley to shreds claiming that she was wrong for contacting these women and she should have taken this up with her fiance. Others have sent words of encouragement to Watley. Reading these comments really got me thinking. How could these everyday Joes and Janes possibly weigh in on this situation? Let’s take a closer look…
This woman has been dating this man for over ten years (presumably before he had any fame), has a child with him, and while she is not a frequent face on his Instagram page (cuz you know that’s what makes relationships legit) her existence and role in his life doesn’t seem to have been a secret. At some point in their relationship Cruz was drafted and quickly popped on the radar of groupies far and wide. Their relationship was quickly thrust into public light by his curious eye and groupies with nothing to lose. So she decides enough is enough and sends out a message that basically let all those other women know if they thought they were special, they aren’t. So what exactly did she do wrong?
In my opinion, she handled the situation well. We have all seen countless other celebs choose other more hostile ways to handle their partner’s wondering eye, Ray J’s girlfriend bleaches his clothes, and I have to say while sometimes kind of funny these could lead to worse situations. I personally don’t know what it’s like to be in a relationship with a celebrity, but I know the annoyance I feel when random girls are too friendly for my liking toward The Boy. I can’t for the life of me understand the women condemning Watley for not leaving or for making their private issues public. I highly doubt that when she typed that message she knew and/or intended for it to go viral, but then again maybe she did as a way to put Cruz on notice that she was on to his bs. Whatever her reasoning, I’m in no place to cast judgement on her because I can only imagine what the life of a professional athlete’s mate is like.
I know for me personally, I prefer a “deal with my man” approach. At the end of the day, other women don’t owe me anything and haven’t made any promises to be faithful to me. Yes, there is the Law of Moses to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” which should keep women from getting involved with a man they know has a woman, but you never know what the man is telling other women and frankly some women just don’t care. So for me, my issue is with my man. He’s the one that said he loved me, promised to be faithful, and is out in the streets clearly making other women think he is available. If your man is doing what he’s supposed to, women will be throwing their panties at him will be like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall.
Men and women alike are subject to temptation and we have got to move away from the stigma that only men cheat. Let’s be real, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you are suddenly blind to people of the opposite sex and cheating does not only entail having sexual relations with someone other than your mate. You can be cheating on your mate emotionally by sharing information typically reserved for your partner. What it comes down to is a matter of respect for your mate. If you really love someone and respect them, why would you disrespect, embarrass, and hurt them by cheating?
I’m not going to sit here and try to preach to you all like I’m some saint that’s never cheated or been cheated on. I’ve been on both sides of the situation so I’ve seen the consequences of my bad choices as well as experienced the sense of betrayal that comes with being cheated on. What I can say about cheating is that it’s selfishly motivated and despite maybe reasoning that what I was doing was justifiable, it sucked dealing with the aftermath of an angry/hurt boyfriend. I’ve learned a lot from being on both sides of this coin.
The most important thing to take away from this is that we shouldn’t judge others’ actions because we don’t know their circumstances. It’s really easy to discuss what you would do in a hypothetical situation that doesn’t take into account the emotions you really feel when in that situation. We all have to remember that these women are actual people, in love, with real emotions, and history with these men, and they are living their lives with thousands of people judging them and their mate.
Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? How do you deal with cheating? How would you handle it if your mate cheated?