When a relationship is still shiny and new, we’re in what’s known as the honeymoon stage. You’re spending a lot of time with bae, actively going out of your way to avoid conflict, and can’t imagine that your lover could ever do any wrong. Well eventually that new relationship smell wears off and you seem a lot more aware of little things or habits that irk your soul. Don’t worry, you’re in good company, your relationship (probably) isn’t doomed, and you’ll both live to argue another day. I recently gathered a group of my girlfriends, who have been in relationships for 1-5 years, to investigate the 3 things couples argue over the most. The results were pretty funny, but what became most blatantly clear is that we’re basically all fighting the same battles and I realized all of my Royals probably are too.
3 Things Couples in Long Term Relationships Argue Over
3. Lack of planning – Birds of a feather must flock together on this one because we all agreed we spend a lot of time arguing about what seems to be our partners’ inability to make plans. Let me give you an example, when we go on vacation, I like to have a basic idea of what we’ll do because this ultimately impacts what I’ll pack. The Boy, however, likes to fly by the seat of his pants and “live in the moment”. So every trip I get annoyed because I want him to give his input, but he just wants to see how he’s feeling when the time comes. Now I know what you’re thinking, I could just make all the plans and fill him in, but what happens if I want to do something he doesn’t like or if I don’t think of that one can’t miss activity during planning and then we miss out?
2. What’s for Dinner – This is an argument for us every weekend. It usually goes something like this:
Boy: What do you want for dinner?
Me: I don’t know. What do you want?
Boy: I don’t know. You decide.
Me: Well you know I want seafood, sushi, or Chinese.
Boy: No. We just had all of that last week. What else do you want?
Me: I told you what I want…what do YOU want? You’re the one that’s picky….
and then we go back and forth like this until someone thinks of three places and the other person selects one out of the three. Perhaps we’re both indecisive or maybe it’s an effort to give the other person what they want. I don’t know the exact reason, but I know it leads to a lot eye rolling and desperate tones.
1. Chores – Last, but certainly not least, chores are probably what we argue about most…why there is always so much laundry, who’s going to unload the dishwasher, why the garbage is climbing the wall, and the list goes on. Disputes over who is going to put away all the clean dishes is a really big one at our house. For reasons unbeknownst to me, neither of us wants to do it so clean dishes sit in the dishwasher until they are used. This means dirty dishes are piling up in the sink (cuz you know neither of us is actually going to wash dishes by hang) and then an argument ensues about the kitchen being dirty.
The point I’m trying to drive home is that ALL couples argue. It doesn’t matter how perfect your love seems, you’re not going to always see eye-to-eye on everything. I feel like the best way to handle any disagreement is with communication. Specifically for the previous mentioned three topics, I recommend coming to a compromise so everyone feels happy. For example, if you’re having a hard time making a choice about dinner, have one person suggest three options and the other person pick the winner. Then, the next night, switch roles. No matter what you and your honey argue about, always remember there is probably another couple having the same argument somewhere. If you find yourself needing an ear or some advice, reach out to me through Dear Roxy C.
Do you and your lover argue about any of these things? What other silly things do you and bae argue about?
It’s time for another Thursday Three Link Up. Who doesn’t love sharing lists on their blogs?? I co-host this link up with two other awesome bloggers. Whether it’s 3 reasons you love your husband, 3 things you hate about graduate school, or 3 awesome birthday gift ideas, the Thursday Three Link Up is a place where you can share your posts and interact with other bloggers. Create an amazing post listing three things of your choosing and link up on Royalty in Reality or LiveLifeWell each and every Thursday!